Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
