What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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