is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
