Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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