I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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