She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
