I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
