my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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