It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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