I am in a vortex of obligation.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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