R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The Olympian is in my bed
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
