Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
