you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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