Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
