Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
