I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
