is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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