She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Randomize
