is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
