He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
