we have officially lost it.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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