Ambien. No doubt about it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
