My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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