waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
