what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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