a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
