That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
