Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
