Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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