The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
