You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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