Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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