haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
