Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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