with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
