i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
