This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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