GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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