i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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