Can Purell be used as lube?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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