I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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