It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
