forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
