OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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