Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
