He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
