A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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