weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
third nipple confirmed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
