Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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