butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
