whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
