My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
